Years ago, as a 9 year old little girl, I took a trip to California. We were visiting my extended family. At this point in my life, there was a huge void, that I believed would no longer be filled. My parents had not only divorced, but we had moved clear across the United States, and everything in my life had changed.
So, there I was. Sitting on a plane headed to visit family, but most importantly to me – seeing my father. Can you imagine the excitement within me? A day or so later, I was riding in the car with my father. All I could help but feel was the happiness of knowing he wanted to see me. He took me and my younger brother to the beach. As we sat on the beach, he asked if we wanted to go play. My brother was five years younger than I, so he was thrilled to run free. As I looked out onto the fun-filled waves and sand all around me, I knew, however, I wanted nothing more than to sit with my dad and never leave his side. I wanted to enjoy the comfort of knowing he was near, and it made me feel he wanted to be there with me; that he cared. I felt safer than ever, just for that short time, after having been what I felt like was being torn from him, abandoned, and unloved. There was no way I was going to leave his side.
Although the years have passed, the feeling of wanting to be near my father has not changed. I have learned over the years that God is my Heavenly Father, and He takes the place of my earthly father as well. He is the only one who has ever filled my needs and desires completely. He has proven himself to me as a comforter, a healer, a redeemer, and my Father who truly cares for me.
It has taken awhile for me to grasp firmly to that belief after having learned a false belief of an uncaring God because of the message I received and was exhibited. At this point in my life, I relate my deep desire back then to be near my father, to actually wanting to be near my Heavenly Father – sitting side by side with Him; abiding in Him and letting Him fill me.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works.