On My Knees

There are days when I feel the best of me is ready to begin. Then there are days when I feel all my desires are being squashed and delayed once more.

Has that ever happened to you? A desire wells up in you so strong that even though you don’t know how, you know you are supposed to strive to attain it. God’s word says:

For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Philippians 2:13

So if there is a desire, that is good, within you, doesn’t it have to be from God? He has given us both spiritual gifts and talents to use for His glory. No matter what our gifts are, we must use them to please God. Through that, God allows us to experience easier in what He’s blessed us with. Once we know what it is our heart desires, the question is how to use them and where? Do we take every opportunity that comes before us? Do we make our own way? Do we sit on our hands and wait for an opportunity to be handed out to us? I believe the answer is definitely not to make something happen. I know we shouldn’t wait for someone else to make our dreams come true. So the last question remains unanswered; which opportunity do we take hold of? Will a better choice come along? Or will there even be another choice? I guess if God has placed something in your heart, He would not just offer one chance. But to be sure and know this is the one is what can sometimes be unclear. You know your desire has been planted in you by God; but other opinions and circumstances can cloud your vision. So why would He allow it to be there and not use it?

That brings me to the answer – to get on my knees; once more, continuously…waiting for His guidance and direction. It would be easy to leave it behind, but then I would be forever haunted by the fact that I laid aside a part of myself. Yes, to do other things that are necessary, but to leave behind an expressive part of me. But I wait – hoping the Lord will give me a louder than ever audible answer to move ahead. It may be this time or perhaps the next. Sometimes He is silent and I must wonder, is that because He is waiting for me to learn something, to make a decision based on the desires He has placed in me, or waiting for me to be more consistent in seeking Him and knowing for sure how to hear His voice.

So I wait on my knees. Please God, speak to me.